hide me

Today is a sack day.

You know those days when you wake up and you can't stand yourself? Thats today... When you wake up in the morning to take a shower and realise that you feel disgusting today. You try not to think about it though, especially the fact that you feel flabby. Getting dressed is horrible. You can't think of anything that will look good. When you do finally decide on something, you put it on and then rip it off because it makes you feel worse and after digging through your cupboard you realise that you have nothing to wear that will alleviate this problem. GAR! Fine, so you throw on a shirt that covers yourself as best you can and try to assure yourself that it looks good. Then you look at yourself in the mirror and you look at your hair and realise that you need a haircut, your hair needs a colour and it has decided its not going to cooperate. You also don't look normal. Your face has meta morphed overnight to become something ugly and unrecognisable. But you swallow it all, you suck it up and you step out into the day trying to make out that you feel great. You look fabulous! HAH! What a joke, and you know it.
So you spend the day, trying to throw yourself into other things. Concentrate on other things, work, life, study, anything... Just don't think about it. But it is there, simmering away. Everytime you go past a shop window you see your reflection and can't help but cringe...
That is my day today... oh joy. This is of course worsened by the fact that I have only had 2 hours sleep and am starting to get a cold... oh j-o-y!
I've realised that this feeling is worse because my clothes are getting tatty... this skirt is fading fast, so are my shoes... I need a haircut and I know it, but at the moment, I have no time and funds are reserved for other needs. No new clothes, no new shoes, no haircut, no relief from this feeling. You have to battle it out...
Don't look at me today, I am not the best...